Fun with ADD

How a woman with ADD Makes dinner!!!

  • While cleaning the kitchen in preparation for cooking dinner, she noticed that the living room is cluttered. This is not a revelation of any kind, as those in your immediate world have all pointed out repeatedly that not everyone keeps their old newspapers in reverse chronological order and in multiple stacks about the room.
  • Obsessing about the stacks of newspapers, she decide to clean the room from top to bottom. On second thought, that seems like a lot of work, so she turn on the TV and vow to least get rid of half the newspapers before dinner.
  • Dinner?  What is for dinner anyway? Return to the refrigerator, which is nearly full, but nothing strikes her fancy. Browse through two or three cookbooks, make a grocery list, grabs her purse and head out the door.
  • Walking to the car, she notice the "WASH ME" dust graffiti. She grabs the hose and turn it on. While watching the water run down the driveway in rivulets, remember that the roses could use a good pruning.
  •  She go to the garage to get the pruning shears, wave hello to Mrs. Barnes, her neighbor to the east, who wants to talk about the garage sale she is having this next weekend. That gives her a great idea...she will organize some things and add them to hers. The house needs cleaning anyway. Excuse herself and head back to the house to start picking out items for sale.
  • Remember that she was on her way to the store for something, but she can't quite recall what. Was it groceries? No, it can't be. The refrigerator is so full, after all.
  • Shut off the water, pick up her purse, and get in the car, not sure where she is going or why. Head for the craft store just because it sounds like a fun place to be. While there, remember all those newspapers, and think what a good idea it would be to make scrapbooks of current events for the kids to read when they get older.
  • Buy three large scrapbooks, decorative papers, scissors which cut wavy lines, curly lines, and zig-zag lines. Don't forget multicolored special pens, acid-free glue and pre-cut shapes for interest. The total: $87.32. Head home to start the project.
  • On the way home, glance at the gas gauge and realize that it is on "E" and probably has been for some time. Put "fill up the car" on her mental list of things to do.
  • While waiting for the Automobile Club to come with a gas can, start to wonder where the day went, and why she is so tired? And hungry. What is for dinner, anyway?

Funny Quotes:

 

"I'm sorry... I wasn't paying attention to what I was thinking "  


What is ADD? "The mind of a Pentium with the memory of a 286."

 

What do you mean, ADD is faster then ADSL???  


 To invent you need a good imagination and a pile of junk!


I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering!


It's a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word!


Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow!


The best non-pharmacological treatment for ADD is exercise, sex, and humor!



Funny abbreviations:

  • Anti Dumping Duty
  • Administration on Developmental Disabilities
  • Alcohol and Drugs Dependency
  • American Dream Denial
  • A Dumb Dog
  • American Dream Disorder
  • A Dog’s Dream
  • Another Damn Disappointment
  • Anti Discipline Disorder
  • Adequate Discipline Deficiency
  • Americans for Donald Duck
  • Advanced Dumbass Disorder
  • Another Damn Dog
  • Absent of Dad’s Discipline
  • Ain't Denying Dysfunction